Well well well!!!! As a first time mother, I didn’t know what separation anxiety was all about. No one had mentioned it to me earlier, and our child was first born in either of our families. The Moment my daughter turned one and a half, she would cry every time my husband would be out of her sight. She refused to stay with me at any moment of time, except when she needed to be fed and cleaned. As a mother, I was quite jealous towards my husband as he would get all the attention from her the moment he returned home. I would quietly watch the duo cuddle and laugh while craved for the same attention. I felt I was not a good mother to her, so she didn’t want me.
The miserable me would try and find faults with my husband, you didn’t do this and blah blah blah and we would end up arguing for no reason at all. Someone had said that being a mother was the best thing to happen, to me it just seemed like a mammoth chore. All the love and affection for my daughter and husband had gone out of the window.
Time passed by, while daddy dear got busy with work, the daughter was enrolled in a playgroup. Unlike other kids she never cried for me, in fact, she was so fond of going to school that she refused to return home with me. I felt like a provider to her as she did not show any comfort in me except to fulfill her needs. Yet, I did not realise what was I missing as a mother.
Then one day I got a call from my ex-company to join them back, it seemed an excellent opportunity for me since she had already begun schooling and I joined them immediately. All went smoothly for the initial few days at work, until one day when I had to stay back for an important meeting and asked my husband to pick her up from school. She returned home changed, played around, had her lunch, and the duo had loads of fun watching television. When I returned home, both were sleeping on the couch, I pecked her and caressed her hair. She held my hand and said,’Mommy I missed you very much where had you been?’
I realised that she did miss me, but since I was with her she never had an opportunity to experience my absence. So there it was “my separation anxiety”.